Prayer Changes Us
Pray for those who spitefully use you. Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)
My coworker’s words were unkind and untrue. How could this woman say such a thing about me? I fumed. All day her words simmered in my soul. Each time my mind hit the rewind button, my jaw tightened.
That night as I lay in bed, I thought about what I would do the next time I saw this woman. Avoid her? Confront her? Simply pretend I didn’t remember what she said?
I also thought about what I should do. I knew what Jesus said in Matthew 5 about praying for those who hurt us, but I asked myself, “How can I possibly pray for this woman with a sincere heart?” I’d rather tell her exactly what I think and then complain to other people. I’d rather harbor a grudge and avoid her. But Jesus said that if I want to please him, I’ll pray for those who hurt me.
The next morning I sat in my favorite chair to have my devotions, but my heart was restless, so I wrote my coworker’s name down on my daily prayer list. Then I admitted my feelings to God. “Lord, I don’t like this person or what she did to me.” God knew what had happened. I didn’t need to airbrush what she’d done or camouflage how I felt about it.
Next, I confessed my unwillingness to change my attitude. “Lord, I can’t get over this. I’m too angry, too hurt.” Then I reminded myself that God loves this woman as much as he loves me. He offers the same forgiveness to her that he offers to me. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:45, God “causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (NIV). In God’s eyes, my attitude about the woman was as wrong as what she had done. I said, “Lord, help me to see what you see when you look at her.”
Several weeks passed. One day my coworker and I were both working in the copier room. She seemed agitated, so I asked, “How’s your day going?” As she revealed details about an ongoing trial in her life, I realized why she might have misjudged me and recognized that I’d misjudged her too. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge my heart and the stone of resentment that I’d been cradling in my spirit cracked.
My attitude toward those who offend me doesn’t change overnight. Sometimes it takes months. But if I continue to bring my attitude before God, he gradually changes my perspective. He instills sympathy for others in me and provides humility about my own faults. Praying for those who have hurt us gives God an opportunity to work in our hearts. The Spirit shapes and molds us, and others can more easily discern that we are the children of our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:45).
Are you harboring hurts in your heart? Talk to God about your pain and those who have caused it. He may nudge you to add those names to your prayer list.
Dig Deeper
Luke 6:27–36 is a longer version of Matthew 5:43–47. What reasons does Jesus give for being merciful to those who may not deserve it?
Compare Peter’s attitude in Matthew 18:21 with his advice in 1 Peter 3:8–12. What had Peter’s relationship with Jesus taught him about forgiving others? What has your relationship with Jesus taught you about forgiveness?
Read Romans 8:26–34. Twice in this passage Paul says that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. How does that truth apply to our prayers for those who mistreat us?
Denise K. Loock
A version of this devotion is included in our book on prayer: Restore the Conversation.